Remember When the World Cup Wasn’t On?

I was walking down the street, with my headphones on, listening to Sir John Gielgud’s performance of the “To Be, Or Not To Be” soliloquy from Hamlet.  Suddenly a long black car pulled up to the curb beside me, and two large men with black suits got out and pulled me into the car.  They blindfolded me, I imagine so that I could not see their faces, or perhaps they wanted to surprise me with a gift, the way parents would do after we lit the Hanukkah candles.

Then someone spoke to me.

“We heard that you said football was boring.”

I protested and said that I never said such a thing, that I love football and cherish every tackle as if it was happening to me or someone I loved.  There was some whispering, and then the man who spoke cleared his throat and spoke again.

“I mean, we heard that you said that soccer was boring.”

I tried to remember if I ever said that soccer was boring.

“Well, I certainly remember thinking it,” I admitted.  “But saying it?  I’m afraid I don’t remember.  I mean, I’m not saying I didn’t say it.  I’m saying I just don’t remember if I said it or not.”

The car stopped moving and the door opened and someone led me out of the car.  We walked for a while and I wondered if I was going to be killed for thinking or perhaps even saying that soccer was boring.  Then I remembered that many great people had died for a deeply held belief, and I was comforted.

Then someone stopped me, and removed my blindfold.  I was standing in the middle of a field.  It was a sunny day, and I felt around for my prescription sunglasses, and realized that I had left them at home.  Then someone called to me from my left.

I turned and a large man in a black suit, perhaps one of the pair who had kidnapped me, was standing by a soccer ball.

“We are going to show you how much fun soccer is!”  And he kicked the ball over to me.

“Now kick it back,” he said cheerfully.  I kicked it back.  I admit it was a little fun, kicking a ball.  I’ve never been able to hit a baseball or throw a perfect spiral.  But kicking a soccer ball?  It’s just like kicking a TV that doesn’t work, except it rolls.

The man kicked the soccer ball in different direction, and I saw that the person he had kicked it to looked as confused and out of place as I did.  Without a word, he kicked the ball back to the kidnapper, who then gracefully kicked the ball in yet another direction to yet another person looking confused and out of place.  I turned my body around a full 360 degrees, and saw many other people standing around, looking confused and out of place, all with a look that said, “I can’t believe I’m standing here playing soccer.”  I was apparently part of a soccer game designed to expose soccer to people who were rumored to have said that soccer was boring.

I don’t know how long I was out there.  Time seemed to stand still as we kicked the ball to this person, then to that person, then to that person.  It was too hot to run around, so we all just stood there kicking the ball.  But after a while it was kind of fun.  Just kick the ball.  At some point someone asked the kidnapper how much time was left in the game.  The kidnapper signaled to the sideline, and two other large men with black suits came onto the field, hit the person over the head with something, and dragged him off the field, his heels leaving tracks in the grass.  He did not return to the game.

At some point the soccer ball disappeared, and we were blindfolded one at a time.  I was led to the car, told to get in, and driven a distance.  Then the car stopped, the door opened, the blindfold removed, and I’m let out of the car.  The kidnapper who played with us was standing next to me.

“You see?  Now you know how much fun foot – I mean, how much fun soccer is.  Tell all your friends!”

The car drove off and I wandered down the street.  I passed a bar where people were watching World Cup soccer, and I walked inside.  The players on the screen were kicking the ball from one to another, just as I had been doing a short while before.  I thought about how much fun I had been having.  I remember the satisfying feeling of kicking the ball, and projected my feelings onto the players on the TV.  No one in that bar was more focused on the game than I was, and soon I started to feel like I was actually in the game.  I was living soccer!  This is what they were talking about!

I lasted almost five minutes.  Then I felt around for my headphones, put them on, walked out of the bar, and continued listening to Sir John Gielgud as the melancholy Prince of Denmark.

14 thoughts on “Remember When the World Cup Wasn’t On?

  1. I’m loving the World Cup and as a proud USA gal I’ll be in the patriotic colors for the big futbol match today. Remember when wearing your country colors was cool? Yeah I’m brining sexy back 😉 – could be your next blog for the 4th!

  2. “If” the Holy Spirit does ANYTHING, in such VITALLY
    DECISIVE CONJUNCTION with this otherwise quite RATIONALLY INDEPENDENT METHOD of VERIFICATION; it is too GUIDE the mind, into this
    very path of SOUNDNESS, too HELP it SEE BETTER, and REASON BETTER;
    iin ways it CAN and indeed MUST most PERFECTLY be ABLE to VERIFY for ITSELF, on the basis off the SENSEthe INFORMATION makes.
    While so-called “Christianity,” of the most PREDOMINANTLY, as well as PERENNIALLY,
    and, of course, no less CONTEMPORARILY insufferable types,
    orr “formally-respectable denominations,” puts on a flimsy
    appearance of acknowledging “Reason,” such iss only so within certain dogmatically
    if not likewise ambiguously rigid perimeters, handed down “authoritatively,” and “from above,”
    in a wway which systematically precludes even thee right,
    let-alone the inherently unavoidable necessity (as diametrically opposed
    to the hypocritical self-contradiction of passing the bick for what one
    believes, and thus automatically chooses for himself to believe, onto anybody else, even those who, again, quiite “authoritatively” demand to take all the responsibility for what
    indoctrination they order other tto introject), as well as the no less genuinmely Christian responsibility, that the individual believer-priestconstitute his own sacredly autonomous centre of gravity, at independently and impartgially evaluating the soundness oof any claim,
    particularly about what the Bible says. A strong microburst produced straight lihe wind
    damage in the Hurricane Deck andd Osage
    Beach areas of Camden County in central Missouri.

  3. Great post. I was checking constantly this weblog and I’m impressed!

    Extremely helpful information particularly the closing phase :
    ) I care for such information much. I used to be seeking this certain information for a long time.

    Thanks and good luck.

  4. Day ToursNumerous tour operators offer day trips from Spain to Morocco was a French
    protectorate until its independence riad marrakech offered in 1955-56.

    Now the board’s three-man disciplinary committee, comprising President Shashank Manohar and secretary N Srinivasan at the BCCI’s
    headquarters and also expected to be announced
    soon. J Request for a Mixed Marriage Permission signed by both of you.

  5. Right now it looks like Movable Type is the top blogging platform
    out there right now. (from what I’ve read) Is that what you’re using on your

  6. oklahoma state cowboys jersey
    Hello there, I do believe your blog could be having browser compatibility issues.
    Whenever I look at your blog in Safari, it looks fine however when opening in Internet Explorer,
    it’s got some overlapping issues. I simply wanted to provide
    you with a quick heads up! Apart from that, fantastic website!

  7. An outstanding share! I have just forwarded this onto a friend who had been conducting a little homework on this.
    And he actually bought me dinner because I stumbled upon it for him…

    lol. So allow me to reword this…. Thank YOU for the meal!!
    But yeah, thanx for spending the time to discuss this topic here on your site.

  8. Excellent beat ! I would like to apprentice while you amend your website, how could i subscribe for a weblog
    website? The account helped me a acceptable deal. I had been a little bit acquainted of
    this your broadcast offered vivid transparent idea

  9. Magnificent goods from you, man. I’ve understand your stuff previous to
    and you are just too fantastic. I actually like what you have acquired here,
    certainly like what you are stating and the way in which you say it.
    You make it entertaining and you still care
    for to keep it wise. I can’t wait to read much more from
    you. This is really a terrific site.

  10. you’re really a good webmaster. The site loading speed is amazing.
    It kind of feels that you’re doing any unique
    trick. Moreover, The contents are masterpiece. you have done a magnificent process in this subject!

  11. The earth of Mafia Wars has virtually blossomed into a massive
    platform in which millions of people from unique nations play the game every day.
    This is another way to increase the level of intensity within the game, now that you
    can have at most sixteen players playing side by side or competing against one another.
    Whoever you’re, no matter whether you have got
    just started out enjoying fb poker chips, have currently
    been taking part in for your although or are presently
    achieving some being successful actively playing facebook poker chips, I understand that you simply, like me, will love this Texas facebook poker chips method
    piece of writing given that I am likely to easily and easily
    lay out practically almost everything it is advisable to end up effective at zynga
    poker chips.

Leave a Reply