Mark Kaplowitz -

31 December 2020

Remember Going Out for New Year’s Eve?

This year I am staying home for New Year’s Eve. Not that I would otherwise have gone out. Going out for New Year’s Eve has always been for me a fun but long and arduous duty, with many minutes standing in cold air, far from food, beverage, or restroom. But this year I have an excuse. I can tell people...

Coronavirus Comments: 0

11 October 2020

Remember When Planes Flew Somewhere?

Hurry! Book your flight to nowhere! Yes, airlines, struggling financially from the pandemic’s restriction on travel, have figured out that if the problem with the flying was that the planes went somewhere, then the solution would be to offer flights that landed in the same place of departure. These flights to nowhere sold out in minutes. Other business are following....

Coronavirus Comments: 0

11 August 2020

Remember When All Ice Cream Was Real Ice Cream?

I could not believe what I was seeing. I rubbed my eyes, but it was still there: Yet another ice cream shop claiming to be “the only real ice cream.” This particular establishment’s claim to reality was based on its use of milk from cows that had not been fed hormones – that, and, I imagine, the scandalous prices it...

Eating and Drinking Comments: 0

3 August 2020

Remember When the Trial Subscription Was Really a Trial?

Yes, the rumors are true. I missed the deadline to cancel a free 7-day trial subscription of a streaming channel for a smart TV. The particular channel is not important. I assure you, it was something educational. I was not that late. The evening of the deadline, I had been busy cleaning the coffee pot, and had become so absorbed...

Television and Movies Comments: 0

20 July 2020

Remember When You Knew Where Your Photos Were Stored?

Where are my photos? The question had never before occurred to me. I just assumed that the thousands of photos I take with my phone remain on my phone forever. But the other day I was searching for a video I took last summer of a squirrel, perched on the edge of a dumpster, eating a french fry, just like...

computers Comments: 0

6 July 2020

Remember When You Could Eat Inside a Restaurant?

“Curbside pickup only” said the warning at the top of the online menu. It was our favorite restaurant, and I had many cherished memories of enjoying fine meals among fine decor, getting recommendations from the polite staff, and asking my kids to stop standing on the seats and staring at the other diners. But all that would now have to...

Coronavirus Comments: 0

25 June 2020

Remember Your First Zoom Meeting?

When the coronavirus pandemic hit and everything was closed, and everyone sent home and ordered to stay away from each other, I thought to myself, “Well, at least I won’t have to sit through meetings for a while.” I was wrong. The video conferencing service that goes by the name of Zoom was there to make sure that even a...

Coronavirus Comments: 0

13 May 2020

Remember When You Did Not Have to Wear a Mask?

“Do I really have to wear this?” I asked aloud, at home, to anyone who was not already sick of my voice after two months. “You know now they are saying that the mask actually increases the spread of coronavirus.” I searched on my phone for where I read that, but instead there was a notice that the article had...

Coronavirus Comments: 0

5 May 2020

Remember When Kids Went to School at School?

The first thing I told my kids was that, contrary to rumor, this substitute teacher was not taking any abuse. “Things will go on exactly as usual,” I said, and pulled out the lesson plan that I had written in my daily planner. The planner was for the year 2007, and was mostly blank, as I had apparently preferred to...

Coronavirus Comments: 0

26 April 2020

Remember When You Didn’t Have to Sanitize Your Cheerios?

My wife and I had been planning the trip for weeks. The night before the big day, we reviewed the procedure. “While you are out, I’ll mark off the loading area on the floor with painter’s tape,” I said. “This is where we put the groceries that have not been sanitized yet.” “Okay,” my wife said. “But are you sure...

Coronavirus Comments: 0